Understanding
by Dr. Cameron
Summary: Set after Living Doll, Sara is rescued and returns to everyday life. But she's not over what happened, and Grissom just doesn't get it, so she turns to someone else. First few chapters have GSR in them, sorry!
1. Prologue

Alright, this idea has been in my head for months, but I haven't been able to do anything with it, since I haven't been able to figure out how to start it. I finally came up with something, I don't know if it's any good, but I promise if it's not it'll get better once I know what I'm doing. This is a Snickers fic, but in the beginning we will have to deal with some GSR.

This is my first CSI fic and I'm anxious to get it out there, so please, R&R!

Disclaimer: CSI does not belong to me. Sadly.

* * *

She was going to die. She couldn't hold on. The weight of the car, it was too much. She couldn't move, she couldn't breathe, she just couldn't keep fighting. 

One twitch of the fingers. That's all. And that took everything she had. But there was no point. No one was here. No one was going to save her.

The darkness called out to her. It looked ever more inviting the longer she fought. _Come here, Sara, you'll be warm and safe here_. No, the other side of her fought. Grissom will come. Grissom is not going to let you die.

She just had to keep those thoughts. Mind over matter. Grissom was going to find her. She was going to be fine.

But then she couldn't do it anymore. She gave in, and the darkness overtook her.

* * *

I know it was short but it's just a beginning. Please let me know what you thought! 


	2. Rescue

Alright, I normally like to wait at least a week to post the next chapter of a fic, but I'm finding I just can't wait with this story, so here it is. _Please_ review!

* * *

Grissom paced back and forth in the break room. Break room, the irony couldn't be ignored. Sara was missing, _his_ Sara, trapped under a car somewhere, and they were all sitting in the break room. Truthfully, it was because it was the only place big enough for all of them to work, to talk it out. To think.

He didn't hear Brass come into the room. He didn't hear what he said, or register what was in his hand. He was instead going over and over the case in his mind. The case, it had to be _the case_. It couldn't be Sara's Case. If he thought of it like that he wouldn't be able to focus, and then he truly would lose her for good.

But he wasn't coming up with anything. Blocking out the world usually helped him come up with _something._ But it wasn't working this time.

"Gil?" Catherine broke through.

He stopped pacing and looked up at her, startled. She was wearing a look of concern, a look he'd seen before, but chose to ignore it. There wasn't time for that.

Brass took the reign of the conversation. "We've got a lead."

The air in the room changed instantaneously. The still tenseness evaporated, replaced by buzzing hope.

Nick and Greg sat up straight from where they were sitting on the couch. Warrick, beside them, came to attention. They all waited with baited breath.

"Officer radioed in," Brass continued. "An overturned car by the side of the road. It matches the one in..." he trailed off, getting incomfortable.

"The miniature," Grissom finished for him. Brass said nothing. The diorama was now locked up in the evidence room, no one could stand to look at it any longer, but Grissom didn't need it right in front of him to see it. He couldn't get it out of his mind. Every detail was burned into his brain forever. Including the moving finger.

"I'll go then," Catherine announced.

"No," Grissom said sharply. Everyone turned to stare at him. "Catherine, I need you to stay here, in case that's not it." He turned to Brass. "I'm coming."

Jim Brass didn't question this. He knew better than that.

* * *

It was still raining when they got to the scene. The dark stormclouds mocked him. Everyone knows in bad weather searches for missing people are restrained, full forces not released. And any evidence gets washed away. The worse the weather, the worse the chance of finding Sara. He hated the rain. 

In the distance there was a patrol car, flashing lights. When Grissom and Brass approached the man inside simply lowered his window a crack.

"It just looks like an overturned car to me. Nobody inside, I checked." the officer offered non-chalantly. The man disgusted Grissom. Too afraid of getting wet to step out of the car and actually _look_. Too concerned for himself than the safety of others. He should have his badge.

Grissom didn't say anything to the man, instead he headed towards the car and started scowering it. Eyes pealed for anything, any glimpse of Sara.

Brass and the other officer came over and panned the car as well. Then, around the front passenger door he saw it. The smallest little evidence. A hand.

"Over here!" Grissom yelled, immediately dropping to his knees.

The other two hurried over. Brass stood stunned. It was a hand, but it wasn't moving.

He proceeded with caution in his next statement. "Gil, we need to know if..."

Grissom knew where he was going. If this wasn't a rescue mission, they could take their time getting her out.

"Sara," Grissom started, taking her hand. "Squeeze my hand if you can hear me."

Everyone waited. The only sound was the rain pelting down on them.

Nothing.

He tried again. "Sara, please, if you can hear me, just squeeze my hand. However hard you can."

There was more silence. No one moved. Then, all of a sudden, he felt the softest squeeze.

It was enough for him.

"She's alive. She's alive! Where the hell are are the rescue crews?!" Grissom yelled, looking around wildly.

Brass didn't waste any time. He grabbed his radio and quickly relayed the message.

The whole time Grissom didn't let go of Sara's hand. He'd found her and he wasn't going to leave.

"They're five minutes out," Brass said.

Grissom nodded. "Here that, Sare? Help is coming. Help is coming soon."

* * *

So, how was that? 


	3. Safe

Whoops. This was supposed to be updated, like, long ago. My bad. O.o

This chapter's a little short too, but I swear the next one's longer. Promise.

* * *

Grissom set once again to pacing. They had finally gotten Sara out from under the car and brought her to the hospital. The doctors had been in with her for...how long was it now? Hours? Days? And they hadn't told him anything. He'd just been out here, pacing, leaving everything to his imagination. Doctors and nurses ran around him, machines screeched and people cried. There was too much madness. He needed to think. He needed a quiet place to think. 

Suddenly, the double doors burst open and in came the rest of the team. Catherine, Nick, Warrick, and Greg all ran up to Grissom, faces pained with anxiety, the need to know.

They all started talking at once, each one louder than the other, it seemed. Grissom couldn't put up with all that noise. He put his hands up.

"Stop! All of you, just calm down."

They all ceased talking, and Catherine was the first to speak again, calmly.

"Have you heard anything?"

"No. They're still working on her."

At a loss for anything else to do, the team sat down in the designated waiting chairs. That's all they did for a whole twenty more minutes. Brass came back at one point with some coffees, but that was the only other action that happened within the group.

The waiting was driving Grissom crazy. He couldn't take it anymore. And then...

"Excuse me, Mr. Grissom?"

He looked up to see a young resident, possibly in his late thirties, standing before him. The man was wearing the typical white coat and a secure smile. Grissom couldn't look at that smile.

"She's awake now, if you'd like to see her."

_If_ he'd like to see her? The only response Grissom gave was a quick, 'thank you', and headed off down the hall. Leaving the others in the waiting room and the doctor to shout after him what room it was.

* * *

The first thing he noticed when he entered Sara Sidle's hospital room was how vulnerable she looked. She was lying still, flat on her back in the bed. There were tubes and machies all around her. Her left arm was in a cast, her face was bruised, and the scientist in him immediately jumped to the thought that everything on the outside was probably a million times worse on the inside. Internal bleeding, broken ribs...But that wasn't what she needed, a scientist, so he pushed those thoughts away. Slowly, carefully, Grissom approached. He didn't want to do anything that would hurt her. The thought of him causing her pain just by coming up to her bedside was ludicrous of course, but the way she looked, it seemed like it could be possible. 

Her eyes were open when he reached her. He looked into those eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes. They looked scarred, damaged, terrified. His heart broke looking at those eyes.

He swallowed hard, trying to find his voice. "Sara?"

A single tear slid down her cheek.

Grissom didn't hesitate. He sat down beside her and picked up her right hand in his. He used his other to wipe the tear, and then let his hand run through her hair. More tears fell and he kept doing this, never stopping, never leaving her.

"You're gonna be alright sweetheart. I'm here now."

* * *

I know, it's GSR right now, but like I said, we have to get past that to get to the Snickers. The more you review the sooner we get to that. :) 


	4. Doubt

I've had this ready for a really long time, but haven't posted it. However, recent cirucmstances have pushed me to post it now.

You know that feeling where you have a general idea of what you want, but you can't work out the details, can't make it fit the timeline, and can't satisfy yourself with anything you write so you find yourself not having done a long uninterrupted writing session in forever? Well, those are the things I'm dealing with in not just this one, but all of my stories. Why am I telling you this? No particular reason. I think I just needed to bitch.

Anyway, I hope this won't be your last chapter for a while, but we'll see.

* * *

Slowly but surely, Sara was improving. She was still nowhere near 100 percent, but day by day she was starting to heal. Some detectives had been by earlier to get her statement, and a CSI she was sure she'd seen at the lab but didn't know the name of came to process. That was when Sara had been the most uncomfortable. It wasn't just that she hated to be vulnerable, it was that if she'd wanted anyone to process her, it would have been Grissom. She trusted him. Where was he? She'd asked, but no one would tell her. 

"Surprise!"

Sara looked around to the door of her hospital room and groaned. "Guys, I told you-"

"Yeah, we don't care."

Despite her words of protest, Catherine, Warrick, Greg, and Nick all made their way into Sara's room, each carrying some sort of gift (flowers, teddy bears, balloons) and made themselves comfortable, or as comfortable as you could get in a hospital room, around Sara's bed.

"Sorry Champ," Nick offered. "When you end up in the hospital you end up with people bringing you stuff and doing things for you. Live with it."

"But I really don't-"

"Sara," Catherine reached forward, getting a firm grip on Sara's hand. "Shut up and take the gifts."

The younger CSI grimaced and the others took that as a sign of surrender.

"Now, with that out of the way," Greg spoke up from the edge of the bed near the food tray. "We have to discuss some serious matters."

Sara raised her eyebrows. "Serious matters?"

"Yeah," Warrick cut in. "Like for example, why can't these hospitals spring for gowns that actually fully cover the back? I've seen way too many behinds in the last three days."

Sara laughed. "You're asking me? I'm the one that has to wear the damn thing!"

And so that was how it went. The group stayed for about an hour, talking and laughing, enjoying normalcy. But when it was time for them to leave, Sara couldn't help but voice a question she'd been wondering about through their entire visit.

"Where's Grissom?"

The four of them froze. What were they supposed to tell her? Gil had given them specific instructions...

"Oh you know him," Catherine started. "Had some things at the lab he had to take care of or they would drive him crazy. He said he'd be by later."

Sara simply nodded at this. "Okay, thanks guys."

They left and Sara was once again alone in her room. Grissom had been with her every day she'd been in the hospital. Not the entire day, but he'd come by to visit for a few minutes here and there. She knew that he still had a lab to run. Just because she was his girlfriend and she was in the hospital did not mean that people just stopped committing crimes so they could shut down the lab and he could go be with her.

Besides, Sara knew that she should just consider herself lucky to be alive. There was no point in psychoanalysing her relationship with Grissom. At least not right now.

* * *

It was no secret at the Las Vegas Crime Lab that Conrad Ecklie was not a well-liked person. Grissom had tried to stay out of the "Ecklie bashing", so as to remain professional, but had never given off the impression that he would voluntarily spend an afternoon golfing with the man. Normally, Ecklie would step on Grissom's toes, but never went further than that, so the night shift supervisor had been able to maintain a level head when he came into contact with him. But there was a first time for everything. 

"Gil, you need to calm down."

"Don't tell me what I need, Conrad!" Grissom yelled back. They were in Ecklie's office, and the door was open, so passersby got a front row seat to the supervisor showdown.

"You had to know I wouldn't let you stay on the case. You're too emotionally involved."

"I'm just involved enough to be the perfect person to handle this case!"

Ecklie sighed, not hiding his annoyance from the now livid Grissom. "Look, Gil, Sidle is your girlfriend, the whole lab knows it now, so you couldn't have expected me to let you take it."

Grissom stopped and took a breath before speaking again. "I don't know and I don't care what exactly you think is happening between Sara and myself, but regardless you should recognize that Sara at least deserves someone she can trust heading up the investigation."

"She can trust anyone in this lab," Ecklie countered. "We're all as qualified as you, Gil."

Grissom finally decided this conversation was getting him nowhere, and it would be best to end it. He did so without another word to Ecklie. Fine, let him take the case, at least Grissom had somewhere else he could be, somewhere he _was_ wanted.

* * *

When Sara rolled over to see Grissom standing over her, a smile immediately spread over her lips. "Hey." 

"Hello. Did you have a nice nap?"

"I was wondering when you'd come by."

Grissom dropped his gaze from hers and sighed. Should he dodge the question or just be straight with her? He knew that Sara wasn't one to take bullshit, but considering what she had been through, he could make a case for not telling her right away either.

The only problem was, Sara was too smart for him to get away with this. She saw that he was hiding something instantly.

"What?"

He looked up at her, confused. "What are you hiding from me, Griss?"

He sat down in the designated "loved ones" chair and took a breath before beginning. "I just had a conversation with Ecklie."

Sara threw her head back. "Oh God."

He smirked. "Oh God is right. Honey, I want you to know that I tried."

She lifted her head back up off the pillow and raised her eyebrows. "You tried what?"

Another breath. This is it. "Ecklie won't let night shift handle your case."

Sara's eyes spoke before her mouth could, and so Grissom winced even before the shriek came out. "What?!"

"He says I'm too emotionally involved."

"That doesn't mean you can't do your job. We handled Nick's case, how is it any different?"

"I'm not sleeping with Nick."

The response shocked Sara for a minute, but then she couldn't help but smile. It's not every day you hear something like that come out of Grissom's mouth.

Grissom leaned forward again, locking her gaze. "One of the day shift guys is handling it, but that doesn't mean I can't help you. I'm here, not as a criminalist, but as your boyfriend."

When he said it, Sara couldn't help but wonder if he meant it. But as soon as those thoughts entered her head she chastisied herself for even considering it. Grissom loved her. Grissom was here for her. Just like he said.

Wasn't he?

* * *

You know, I think that's my favourite chapter so far. What'd you think? 


End file.
